-
RSS
Randy and I have formed a gay suicide death pact. For those of you whose first question is, “Who’s Randy?” (If it isn’t, we’ll get to you in a moment,) let me tell you: Randy is my gay friend. And yes, that does partially explain why this is a gay suicide death pact, but it does require some additional explanation, which we’ll get to shortly.
But speaking of gay, this is the sort of thing that requires a word-by-word elucidation, so let’s start with the noun, and work our way backward through the adjectives.
Randy and I, both in our mid-thirties, are somewhat in the same place. Not the gay place, although others, like Randy, would have you believe that. Or maybe it’s true? Anyway, the place I speak of is that place in life where you’ve been through a lot, experienced a respectable amount of the opportunities presented to you, but now you find yourself right in the middle of life, not knowing what you’re supposed to be doing.
This is a disconcerting place to be, and Randy and I agree that we should be making all necessary efforts to raise ourselves to higher places. But when you’re not sure of where you’re headed, it’s tryingly hard to know how to proceed there.
So Randy and I have made a pact that, if we are both incapable of rising to greater things, we will kill ourselves. We inadvertently gave ourselves a minor loop hole, though, by failing to clearly state the timeframe of the contract. Someone had mentioned a year, but I recall someone else suggesting five. There was a great deal of confusion in the drawing up of the covenant.
So that also explains why it’s a gay suicide death pact, and death – well, that’s just redundant, but I liked the sinister air it brought with it, so it’s in.
And sure it is gay because Randy is, and I’m ambiguous, but that’s mostly to give it a pizzazz that will make it stand out amongst all the other suicide pacts out there.
We’ve already expanded our membership. One friend, in his early twenties and contemplating his job at the local guitar megastore, was easily coalesced into our club. In fact, the more the merrier. This could be something really special. You want in?
2 Comments
-
Support Barack Obama
[...] Gay Suicide Death Pact with the users of craigslist was bound to generate a variety of responses. The question for me was, [...]
[...] I originally posted my essay about a Gay Suicide Death Pact I had recently co-founded, I received a great deal of reader feedback. Most of it suggested that I [...]